Sunday? Family fun! -FIL

Sunday the kids had their second performance of the musical. Well second for dd, ds was sooo exhausted that I had to put him down for a very very long nap. This time it was DH side of the family that came to the spectacle. I still find it very difficult to entertain my in-laws. Dh family and mine are very very different in almost every single aspect. Which has great advantages too lol, because my family is far from the P*pictureP*ness lol. But still, I find it so hard to open my heart to them, even after all these years ... And I feel so bad about it. Recently I even had my first words with my MIL about something silly, but still ... I know that although I still think she didn't treat me with enough respect at the time of the incident ... I surely helped a lot to create the possibility for it to happen. Luckily I don't find DBIL and his girlfriend quite as difficult to accept in my heart.
But I try ... babysteps ... but I try. Ever since DH and I had our kids, his parents would leave before dinner and would turn over offers to stay over. Before we had kids we would have gone out to a restaurant, but they couldn't understand at first that it ain't easy to take babies/toddlers out for dinner, and certainly not at nights (before school). When it got through, DH and I were very surprised that they decided to just leave before dinner, going to a restaurant alone(they are fixated on Chinese food!), or with DBIL and his girlfriend. DH still suffers from it and that breaks my heart. Even invites for Christmas seem to become difficult. So yesterday, as they were starting their take of rituals ( they stay till the restaurant opens lol) ... I started suggesting to get take away. DH backed up and DFIL was in, DBIL and his GF gladly accepted, so DMIL had to give in ... well we had a lovely time ... at least I had, don't know if DMIL still prefers a restaurant). And DH was so happy, he got out of his way searching for all kinds of foods and drinks to offer the family! ... I know I'm not without blame here ... but how can a mother not see the efforts from a son, and see that she is hurting his feelings ... even if she does it(?) for the good reasons (that's what I try to make DH believe) like giving us the time to put kids to bed early, or saving us money, or time .... I think I will never understand ....